Texting and Driving #3: Bungle Boogie

“I definitely feel the pulse, the karma of the fans of Sacramento.”

Sacramento Kings (Ex) Head Coach George Karl

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Tim:

James, do you reckon the Rockets will go for Horford? He’s a free agent isn’t he?

James:

No, I don’t think Morey is looking to use that much cap space on a center. 

If either Whiteside or Horford show interest in Houston, he’ll definitely look at it, but it looks like he’s going to go all in trying to court Kevin Durant.

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He’s going to be disappointed.

Tim:

Fair enough, I reckon Horford would actually fit really well: a big-man who can actually pass out of the post to the 3 point line would be very handy.

naxzic6xfmeynm188xcoJames:

Yeah, I think we’re more likely to get a PF/C hybrid a la Josh Smith.

But you know, not an idiot

Hopefully.

The Prophet:

Who would fit well on the Rockets… hmmm? How about Boogie, except only his personality:

He would have to leave his talent in Sac Town.

Tim:

Hahahahahaha

James:

I think Morey has realized the personality clashes and will avoid players like that.

Maybe if Jeff Van Gundy accepts the coaching gig, Boogie would be an option.

But then again look at how he responded to Karl trying to keep him in line:

Tim:

So white side would be perfect then?

Mr 2k?

James:

Rockets won’t max Whiteside

No way

The Prophet:

You know who I think has way more potential than is being realized: Solomon Hill on the Pacers.

Tim:

Really? Well I guess he’s a decent jump shooter, but I think he’s too slow for anything else, really.

James:

How many years has he been in the league?

I agree with you though.

He destroyed the rockets – really good offensive rebounder.

The Prophet:

By the way, I really like Boogie. I just think he’s just hyper competitive.  Imagine if Michael Jordan was on the Kings.

web5b25d_2He would legit murder someone.

James:

hahahaha 100%!

He’s just a really competitive guy who’s stuck on a going-nowhere team.

Tim:

They need another competitive person who actually give a shit.

If there was another player like that, they could probably carry the team.

The Prophet:

* Rudy Gay, Sacramento. If they had a usage rate for defense–to measure defensive activity–this guy might register the lowest. He just doesn’t do anything when he doesn’t have the ball. Nothing.

When I watch Kings games, I forget Gay is out there sometimes, and that’s even with him chucking up more than 16 shots a game. Because defensively, he’s non-existent.

Gay checked in with a -2.46 DRPM, 428th ranked in the league, and apparently I’ve lost a few friends in the league who (used to) swear by this guy (the argument a year ago was Gay vs. Andre Iguodala and I’ve always taken Iguodala) and oh well that happens.

Tim Kawakami, My 2015 NBA No-Defense Team: Starring Damian Lillard, Enes Kanter, Rudy Gay and many, many others.

Yeah, I mean Rudy Gay is about as competitive as a tube sock.

James:

HAHAHAH, YEAH

But hey, Rondo is competitive!

The Prophet:

C’mon, James: don’t you remember Rondo last year in the playoffs against the Rockets?

Rondo couldn’t give a shit at this point

He just collapses the Kings’ defense every possession.

James:

Super talented though: if you light the fire under him he could be a great player.

The Prophet:

No.

Rondo does not fit in the modern NBA.

James:

Yeah… I know.

He just wants to get paid now hahahah

The Prophet:

He is a garbage can.

He’s moved from competitive to being a dick to everyone near him so that he looks like he cares.

Tim:

I think Bellineli just wants to shoot 3’s and eat his pizzas in peace

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James:

I love Bellineli.

He’s the Pump Fake King

The Prophet:

Bellineli is evidence that George Karl has no idea what a shot chart is

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He’s a left-corner three beast, but Karl has him pulling up from fucking 30 feet and it’s absurd.

James:

George Karl is another guy who just wants to get paid.

I think he came to Sacramento thinking “wow what an opportunity,” but now he’s just like “fuck these guys, where’s my money?”

The Prophet:

I don’t know what George Karl wants: he doesn’t think like a human.

He’s more like a hyper intelligent praying mantis.

KIDS ASK Praying Mantis2

Tim:

Maybe he just likes to chill with the boys?

He said shoot around was optional

So it makes sense that he got pissed with the lads when no one turned up.

James:

635615436314334796-XXX-508085049-THUNDER-KINGS-WIDNER-353-DEC-265-71471008The issue with trying to get Boogie is that their head office demands you cripple your franchise for the next 5 years in order for a trade.

God-Damn Vlade.

Tim:

Vlade wants to trade himself for Kobe.

He’s still sour about it

James:

#salt

The Prophet:

The Kings know that – for some insane reason –  Boogie would probably resign with them. So it makes sense that they wouldn’t want to trade him

James:

Nothing makes sense about anyone related to that organization.

How many years are left on his contract?

The Prophet:

2 years, I’m pretty sure.

I have this hunch that Beal is going to be great out of the gates for the Wizards next season, and the Kings are going to implode.

And then, at the trade-deadline, they’ll basically swap the two.

Tim:

THE PROPHET HAS SPOKEN.

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James:

#PROPHECYALERT

Do you really think Beal resigns with the Wizards?

I could see Morey making a play for him.

The Prophet:

He’s a restricted free agent and the wizards *will* re-sign him

James:

Oh yeah he’s restricted

The Prophet:

It’s going to be impossible to sign free agents for a couple of years because of the cap spike.

 Everyone’s going to have too much money to blow and cap-space won’t be a luxury for a while. Not matching for Beal would be nuts.

Because in a year or two if it doesn’t work out, everyone will still have tons of cap space and someone could just absorb him and then they’d be in the same position as they would be if they didn’t re-sign him in the first place.

James:

And do you know who the biggest loser out of all this is?

Orlando_magic_logo

The Prophet

Orlando is dumb.

But Aaron Gordon is beast.

Also – mark my words – Lord Elfrid Peyton will be a destroyer of worlds once he fully develops.

I have a hunch that Al Horford and Chandler Parsons might go to Orlando because of their Florida ties.

Tim:

This off-season is going to be crazy.

James:

Yup parsons ain’t staying in Dallas.  Looks like Nowitzki took a pay cut to get robbed by Chandler as he sits on the bench.

By the way, do you reckon there will be many sign and trades then? So teams can get that extra year

The Prophet:

Sign and trades are sort of hard to pull off after the collective bargaining agreement a couple of years ago.

Also, I think Parsons will probably stay.

But we’ll see.

“Probably” doesn’t inspire much confidence.

James:

Cuban will give him a cuddle and make everything feel good

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